


Hidden Love

by dreamcue



Category: Hello! Project, Morning Musume.
Genre: Angst and Romance, F/F, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcue/pseuds/dreamcue
Summary: “Don’t you like her?”“How could I like someone who stole what I wanted!”





	Hidden Love

Sato Masaki, the menace to society was practically glaring at the duo across the room. The dressing room was empty with most Morning Musume members out and about in the halls. This gave the other two occupants in the room an excuse to shamelessly flirt. Since Masaki was the only other member aware of their more than the friendly relationship they weren’t holding back. Which only grated on the loud girl's nerves even more. Typically she had no issues voicing her thoughts, but for once in her life she decided to keep her mouth shut. 

 

Suddenly a rather high pitched gasp came from the two. Kudo Haruka, charming ikemen, chuckled lightly as she pulled the only 11th gen member, Oda Sakura, to her. The two stared at one another for a brief moment before both breaking into laughter. 

 

The third tenth generation member stood up suddenly having had her last straw snapped. The other two glanced at her sudden movement but only caught the last glimpse of her leaving the room. Once in the hall, Masaki gasped in a breath before letting it out slowly even though internally she was screaming.  __

 

Still seething a good amount, the girl walked down the hall opposite to where she knew most members were idling around. She didn’t want to run into anyone at the moment. She knew she was prone to mood swings. It was a fact that everyone around her learned, and tried their best not to set off. When she was happy she was transparent with her feelings, but when she was upset it was as though she’d dropped the blinds. Seeing Sakura and Haruka carelessly embracing and being so touchy in front of her made her stomach flutter uncomfortably. It had undeniably annoyed her. 

 

Before the girl could ponder deeper into her annoyance she saw her fellow generation member walking towards her down the hall. Masaki almost turned to try and avoid the short girl but it was too late. 

 

“Yo, Maachan,” Ayumi’s deep voice commanded her attention, “What are you doing?”

 

“Huh?” The taller girl automatically answered without really taking in Ayumi’s question, her mind lagging slightly from the frustration it experienced moments before. At that point Ayumi could already tell something wasn’t quite right. Since usually Masaki wouldn’t be so stoic unless something was bothering her. The tiny girl understood that much about the other girl. 

 

Ayumi gave her a look, a slight press in her lips with a quirk of her brow. One that Masaki knew too well through the years that meant Ayumi already had her figured out but decided not to comment. Instead, Ayumi continued walking, past her, towards the door that Masaki had just exited out of. In a moment her heart dropped. As much as the display of affection had bothered her, Masaki still felt a deep loyalty to her friends. They trusted her enough to tell her about their relationship, and they had asked her to keep it a secret from the rest of the members. 

 

“Ayumin!” She panicked, calling out to the other girl without thinking. For the second time in two minutes, she received a questioning look from Ayumi. “I’m-- Can we talk?” 

 

Her thoughts were still all over the place, the worst time possible for her to have a serious conversation. By this time Ayumi had turned towards her, her back facing the dressing room door. The door opened and Haruka and Sakura exited, Haruka’s right arm draped over Sakura’s shoulders. For a brief moment, Sakura looked towards the 10th gen pair. Masaki’s eyes met Sakura’s and she felt another pit of irritation well up inside her. With a scowl she broke their gaze, turning away from all three girls in the hall to walk away briskly. She didn’t want to infect anyone else with her negative feelings. 

 

Ayumi watched Masaki walk away with yet another questioning look before turning to the other two. Seeming equally confused Haruka had forgotten to take her arm off of Sakura’s shoulders which she realized after meeting eyes with her generation mate which still held the same questioning look. Quite awkwardly the boyish girl slid her arm off which left Sakura fidgeting slightly. 

 

“I don’t wanna know,” Ayumi stated before the two could try and explain. Obviously, there was something going on and it wasn’t hard to connect the dots. Without another word she turned and walked after Masaki, leaving the remaining two glancing at each other uncertainty. 

 

Masaki didn’t have a destination in mind but she felt like she needed to get out. The frustration welling up inside her needed to get released or else she felt like she might explode. That’s probably what let her to barge through the heavy fire escape doors leading to the outside staircase. The momentum landing her against the railing where she clung on for a second before her voice rang out in a loud yell over the busy streets below. The aching in her throat from the almost primal outburst gave her a sense of relieve. Almost like all the pain finally made sense but she knew better than to believe that was all it took. Just how had things gotten this way? How could she have let things get this way was the proper question. If only she had known at the time that her words actually held weight and that they would end up being the source of all her current angst. 

  
  


Leaning on the railing she sighed. She pulled out her phone to check her appearance using the camera, her bangs were slightly frazzled. With a puff, she combed her fingers through her hair. The practiced action helped to calm her down. Her phone vibrated in her hand, and her eyes flicked to the top of the screen. A LINE message from Ayumi that read, ‘Where are you?’ A laugh escaped her lips. Ayumi was ridiculously caring and at times nosy, but she appreciated it. Thinking of Ayumi reminded her of the exchange a few minutes ago. Masaki wondered what sort of expression Sakura had made after she broke their gaze. A little guiltily she hoped the girl hadn’t been somewhat hurt. 

 

“Sato-san.” Sakura had caught her when the two were the last members of the group in the dressing room a week ago. There was a genuine expression of curiosity on her face, though she sounded hesitant. “You have someone you like, don’t you?”

 

“What?” 

 

“Is it a staff member?” 

 

“You’re insane! I do like someone but they’re not a staff member.” Hurriedly stuffing all her belongings into her bag she fidgeted. The question was more than unexpected and she feared she had been found out. “Why do you want to know?” 

 

Sakura’s hands paused mid-action, frozen in the air above the table as they reached for her makeup kit. A light blush dusted her cheeks as she shyly looked at her senior. “There’s someone I like. I’m not sure if they like me back, but I don’t want to leave it at nothing. I was hoping you could give me some advice.” 

 

It wasn’t as though Masaki considered herself bad at giving advice, it was just that she wasn’t the typical candidate people went to for advice. Usually, the younger members would ask her partner in crime, since Haruka was a lot more aware of others. Sakura in particular had only shown her weak side to Haruka in the past. She was rather reserved and didn’t reach out, most likely due to being the only member in her generation. Masaki knew Sakura and Haruka would be able to see eye to eye, and Haruka would be able to help Sakura with whatever problem. In fact the two spent a lot of time together. She opened her mouth to argue that exact point when her mind slid the puzzle pieces together. “She likes Duu.” The voice inside her mind cackled in her iconic way, albeit sounding a bit drier than normal. Everyone loved Haruka, it was to be expected. 

 

“The only advice I can give you is to go for it.” Her voice raised slightly but she hoped Sakura would mistake it as excitement rather than anger. She forced a smile on her face as she faced the other girl. “You never know, maybe they like you too. All you can do is confess and see what happens.” 

 

An exasperated grunt bounced against the walls. The day after her conversation with Oda the girl had come to her, once again only the two of them in the dressing room. Practically radiating positive energy she was told that the two had started dating. At the time all she could offer was a brief congratulation and hug to convey her blessings to her friends. All she wanted now was to take it all back. To have had the courage to listen to her own advice and confess her dumb feelings then so she wouldn’t have to deal with her dumb feelings now. 

 

An equally exasperated sigh echoed as Ayumi opened the staircase door. She had tracked the girl down after hearing the ruckus she had made from down the hall. Masaki had been too deep into her regret to notice the door opening and now she was trapped against the railing with a tiny and concerned Ayumi in between her and her only source of escape. The girl still contemplated making a dash down the stairs for only a brief moment before her gen mate closed the distance, coming up beside the other girl to lean against the railing as well, her bare arm gracing Marchan's slightly at the proximity. 

 

“Seriously, Maachan. What’s wrong?” The older girl asked. 

 

Masaki let out a grumble while turning to lean her arms against the railing her chin coming down to rest on her forearms. The last thing she wanted was to talk. Especially not with Ayumi. The girl never really saw eye to eye with her. She hoped maybe her lack of response would make Ayumi leave but the brown-haired hair didn’t speak or move, only kept staring at the other expectantly. She stared unwaveringly for such a long time Masaki was starting to feel the gaze burn a hole against the side of her head. Still, the girl was too prideful to admit something was wrong. In fact, most had learned to just stay clear of her at times like this so why was Ayumi being so insistent? 

 

Patience was a true virtue as they say and Ayumi had a lot of it. Masaki, on the other hand, was starting to shake in frustration. The other girl could see it was only a matter of time before Masaki broke so she eased off, finally looking away to also turn and lean against the railing. The last thing she needed was Masaki throwing a tantrum. She had just wanted her to realize Ayumi wasn’t going to let it go so easily. 

 

“Okay, fine! I’m super angry right now. Something that wasn’t mine in the first place got taken away and it’s bothering me. It’s like when I go home and all I want is to eat some mandarins. Then I find out they’re already peeled! Like it’s not the same anymore, you know? Even though I can still eat them, it’s not the same because they’re already peeled. I shouldn’t be upset because I didn’t tell anyone not to peel them but I thought nothing would change.” 

 

Ayumi blinked in confusion her eyes wondering as her mind tried to make sense of everything Masaki had just said. Suddenly she remembered that Haruka was probably the only person could possibly understand the anomaly that was Sato Masaki. The thought of the boyish girl helped Ayumi shake off the puzzlement, remembering back to the moment Masaki stormed away. 

 

“I didn’t get anything of what you just said,” Ayumi finally said, “But does this have something to do with Duu and Oda being super close lately? Are you jealous of Oda for hogging Duu all of sudden?”  

 

“What?!” Masaki screeched her voice reaching that shrill tone of hers but before she could continue Ayumi cut her off, “Don’t you like her?”

 

“How could I like someone who stole what I wanted!” 

 

Both girls were silent after her outburst. When she finally looked to Ayumi the girl was staring at her with wide-eyed shock. She knew she should apologize for yelling but at the moment the only reaction she could muster was to blush profusely. Masaki could feel the heat spread from her cheeks to her ears and down the back of her neck. She had tried her hardest to support her friends by pushing her own feelings aside, but obviously, it wouldn’t work if she would react like this every time. Ayumi placed her hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

 

“It’s okay.” A smile with another squeeze. “Would it help to talk about it?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. Oda likes Duu anyway.” With a dejected huff, she returned to her previous position of resting her body on the railing. “It doesn’t matter, but it matters so much. I’m so ridiculously in love with her!” 

 

“When did you start feeling this way?”

 

“I don’t know! All the time? It feels like forever. And! Every time she does something I end up falling all over again.” A strangled sob fell from her mouth. “There’s the way her eyebrows furrow slightly. How when she sings her voice has so much power.” She started talking faster. She wanted to scream, whether it was to let out her frustration or love Masaki didn’t care. “She doesn’t speak out of turn, and when she does speak her voice is always so soft and caring. She makes sure to give you her full attention and always makes eye contact. Besides! Have you seen how beautiful she is? Sometimes it hits me like BAM! I thought I was okay being her friend, but to think that Duu gets to see all those sides of her and more. It’s like wounding the injured!”

 

“You mean adding insult to injury?” Ayumi deadpanned.

 

Masaki paused to take a deep breath. She let it out slowly, having decided to ignore Ayumi’s jest at her expense. “You know, the other day, she saw me rubbing my back and she offered to do it for me.” There was a slight bitterness in her voice when she admitted this to Ayumi. “I bet she helps Duu with all sorts of things now.”

 

The two stood side by side for a few minutes. As time passed Masaki wondered if Ayumi would still take her side or if she would tell all to Haruka. Realizing how foolish she was being since Ayumi was not that sort of girl, she let out a short chortle. Ayumi looked at her with puzzlement plastered all over her face to which Masaki simply responded with a smile. 

 

“I’m going to tell her.” She said with resolve though her voice was shaking. “I hope you’ll support me when that happens, Ayumin.”

 

“Naturally.”

 

Both girls stood there for a while with Masaki appreciating Ayumi’s support in silence. Truth be told she didn’t know if she had what it took to face the evident rejection. However, it was needless to say that something had to be done or else the situation would persist or worsen even. The thought of the awkward situation becoming even more strained caused the girl to cringe slightly as she leaned on the railing. 

 

“How am I supposed to face them after this,” the girl whined into her arms. Feeling like the tension from before was rising again inside her with anxiety. 

 

Ayumi gave the girl a compassionate smile and gave her one more reassuring squeeze of her arm as they continued to stay there in the quiet company of each other. Eventually, they headed back inside knowing that it was time for them to meet up for a dance lesson. 

 

Thankfully, the change of pace and the presence of the other members along with the intensity of the dance rehearsal helped Masaki place her aching heart at the back of her mind for a while. Though there was still small tinges of Jealousy every once in a while when she caught Haruka and Sakura mindlessly looking for each other and smiling so lovingly once they locked eyes. 

 

Finally, the last lesson of the day came to an end. Even though the girl was happy to finally be done with it the realization that this was her perfect opportunity to have a one-on-one with the girl she liked caused Masaki to revert to her anxiety from before. 

 

Pulling out her phone, Masaki opened up her blog at a new post pretending to be updating as an excuse to idle around while everyone else prepared to go home. She could tell Sakura was probably going to wait for Haruka so they could leave together so she needed the 11th generation member to spare her sometime. 

 

“Odango!” Masaki called out to the girl with her own phone on standby, “Can you stay behind for a while after? T-there’s something I wanna discuss with you.” 

 

“Hmm?” Sakura paused for a second while putting her lesson clothes away, “Oh, sure.” The girl answered as she cast a glance at Haruka who was already set to go. They exchanged a look that apparently told Haruka to go ahead without her.

 

Masaki caught a glimpse of Ayumi coming up to Haruka as the girl approached the dressing room door giving a knowing look back at Masaki along with a slight smile that the girl could only guess was her way of wordlessly conveying her encouragement. Something she greatly appreciated.

 

Soon everyone was already gone and Masaki was sitting still gripping her phone tightly when Sakura approached her having finally finished her after lesson routine. Adorned with her very casual and equally warm street clothes. 

 

“You wanted to talk, Sato-San?”

 

Masaki swallowed the lump in her throat she didn’t realize was there and nodded. Placing her phone down on the table to turn and face the short girl. She looked up at her hesitantly while reigning in all her courage inside of her to voice what she knew she needed to say. 

 

“Do you remember when I said I had someone I like?” 

 

Sakura looked surprised at the topic at hand but nodded. A smile graced her lips one that seemed to say she could trust her with whatever Masaki was about to say, encouraging even. 

 

For the last time in the last couple hours Masaki could feel the beginning of the release of all her pent-up emotions. Whichever way her words composed themselves at that moment would define the future of her relationship with the girl standing before her. All she could wish for was that she wouldn’t end up ruining it all but there was the only way to finally end her misery even if it meant she would have to suffer a little while longer. At least she could finally start moving on instead of feeling trapped within her hidden love. 

 

“Well, the truth is the person I like is you.”

 


End file.
